Now, on to bitter complaining about stupid DC stuff.
I know that my good buddy Rusty (who is much, much improved since the last time I linked to him. Rusty, if you're reading this, I really respect the way you've moved from writing about things that annoy you about DC to things that epitomize everything that is wrong with the city. I knew you could do it.) handled this already, but I can't help chiming in.
Way up on Wisconsin Ave, across the street from the Dancing Crab sits a run-down, worn out ex-bar. The windows were recently boarded up, and the entire building was painted black all to announce the planned construction of a brand new condo site. There already sits a new condo building above the Best Buy a block away. The units are mostly empty and for sale. So building a new one might not be the best thing to do, but that is beside the point.
The name of the new one is MAXIM Condos. This is indeed a horrible name, but one that's not surprising just the same. They want to be associated with the magazine, I'm sure. They have a website. maximcondos.com. There isn't much up on the web, but here's a picture of what they've got.
I know it's kind of hard to read, so let's zoom in on the slogan thing.
I almost puked in my company logo coffee cup when I read that again. No, this is not a joke. It actually says "Coming soon to Tenleytown, brand new high-performance condominiums. For those who know that excellence is not a luxury, but a way of life." First off, what does this even mean? What is a high-performance condominium? Will it be voice-activated? Does it have more than 300 horse power? Will it have stainless steel appliances and granite countertops? Well, that third question is kind of rhetorical. Of course it will. I'm pretty sure that there is a law stating that any new construction must include stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. I guess I just don't understand how any domicile can "perform" something. It just sort of is.
But here's the part that makes me want to die and take the whole of upper northwest with me. There are people who think that they are "those who know that excellence is not a luxury, but a way of life." These retarded, egotistic, sociopathic ladder-climbers will buy into the whole thing. They truly feel that they are better than everyone else who doesn't understand that excellence is a way of life. Never mind the fact that that slogan does not mean anything. These guys (it will be 85% men) all drive leased BMWs, wear stupid-looking clothes and think that women owe them sex just because. Either that or they are in politics, but same differnce.
I can't think about this any more. It's making my brain warp with disgust. Let's just say that I hope the developers go bankrupt, no one buys the condos and then the whole thing collapses in a pile of smoldering ashes. This might restore some of my faith in humanity.
On the other hand, if the new development was named "Wyld Stallyns Condos at Tenley" and the slogan was "For those who know that being excellent to each other is not a luxury, but a way of life." I would buy one in an instant.
5 comments:
That reminds me of the townhouse development that was built right behind our old crumbling rental house in Arlington in 1988. The developers put something like 14 townhomes on a half-acre lot and put up their sign. Ross and I have never forgotten the sub-text:
"Luxury townhomes for the privileged few."
It still makes me gag. We were very happy to be living in our crumbling 1930's catalog house ... for the under-privileged masses.
Well, you kinda beat me to the punch, but I'd like to take it a step futher. I do think that "excellence is not a luxury, but a way of life." It's just a matter of how you define "excellence" and what you want to be excellent. I think you certainly hit on a huge one... being excellent to each other. I agree with that one 110%. But I think there is more to it... there is also the excellence of self. And by that I don't mean BMW leasing yuppie scum. I mean being true to yourself, being the best you can be, living in faith with God, striving for Christain Perfection. I think that people who missing that have to substitue high-performance luxury condos for their excellence because that's all they got.
I'm listening to the Springsteen album now. Man is it awesome! and it has the words in the liner notes!
Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal...
More - who knew that one of my all-time favorite childhood songs was as old as the 1500's?
I'm not even embarrassed to say that I'm out of breath from dancing by myself to 'Froggie went a courtin''. I even pretended to know how to clog (I did take one lesson as a child).
And 'we shall overcome' can really bring a tear to your eye, no?
Don't women owe them sex just because?
Hee. You funny.
I suspect those who JUST invested in high-end condos (is there any other kind these days?) are taking it in the shorts. Or about to. In fact, I think I read an article to this effect recently -- in the Express real estate insert section. They shall get what they deserve. Because -- they're SPECIAL. and BETTER than the rest of us.
D.C. You laugh, or you'll cry.
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