I've been thinking a lot about the devil lately. Or Satan, or The Adversary, or The Tempter, or Roger Clemens, whatever you want to call him/it. (Note: do not conflate Rager Clemens and Satan around the people from my church. They will not get it.) Now before all you discerners out there get all excited, this is definitely not up your alley. You see, I've been thinking about this subject in an entirely different sense than you. I will not talk about end times (some word I don't remember Update: the word I was looking for was Eschatology.) and you would probably find me to be rolling in apostasy. Which, if apostasy is anything like a huge pile of cookies, I would do in an instant. Not cookie dough though. That'll give you salmonella like all get out. No, I have been making jokes about the devil. Try it, it's fun.
I was trying to imagine what the typical day in hell would be like for all those demons and stuff. I can totally picture them all sitting around a table playing poker or something. Probably 5-card stud. You know how they like five-sided things, right? Pentagrams, pentagons, ninja stars, etc. So they are just sitting around, betting their hearts out, or maybe they use hell-dwellers hearts as punishment. When they go bust, they could just go rip out some more hearts Temple of Doom style! Basically, I imagine the scene like this picture.
I'm pretty sure that Satan is the only one who looks like a devil. Suprisingly, he looks just like Arizona State's mascot. It's a weird world, what can I say. I picture all the other demons looking like dogs, because I hate dogs AND Demons. Dogs try to bite me and eat me, demons try to lure my immortal soul into hell. See? They're basically the same.
Anyway, I was thinking about what would happen to Lucifer if he was ever caught cheating. I'm sure it's happened. The german shepard demon catches him with an ace up his sleeve, and then everybody gets all pissed off. Well, if that ever happened, I bet it never gets old for one of the other dogs to say, in a horrible Ricky Ricardo impression, "Looocy, you got some 'splainin to do!" I bet that the other demons tease Lucifer all the time about his lame name. Call him Lucy-loo, or Loosy-goosy. I know I would.
So that was a pretty long set-up for one I Love Lucy joke. As a "Thank you" for sticking around this long, here's a couple of other things I've been thinking about that aren't even long enough to make into a entire post like this one.
- In today's Metro Express, there was an article about earth-friendly clothing. In one of the pictures there was a guy wearing some bio-degradable, organic yarn scarf. Do you know what he was wearing underneath the scarf? That's right. A leather jacket. How's that for earth-friendly?
- Did you know that they really love Kit Kats over in Japan? They do, it's true. This morning, I got to try a Green Tea flavored Kit Kat. It was......strange. When I'm over there next month, I'll try to pick up a bunch of different flavors. Maybe I'll make it a blog series: Kit Kats of Japan.
2 comments:
Apparently they have all sorts of weird flavors over there. Cherry, orange, green tea. I think they might even have sushi ones. If you want, I can pick up some weird ones for you while I'm there next month.
hey Schuyler: I meant to post about this, but as you pointed out, the site wasn't being cooperative. In a very unplanned sort of way.
Speaking of yesterday's Express, did you happen to see the back-page ad? If you still have it around, it's well worth checking out. I cannot believe they green-lighted that for a family-friendly enterprise such as Nationals games.
Post a Comment