List Tuesday: Fat Tuesday

Here at A Ton Of Bricks we like to go all out. Sometimes. Sometimes we just half bakeit. Really it's like a crap shoot. Anyway, today we're having a list smorgasbord. A smorgaslist, I guess.

Reviews of Three DC Blogs: By the Way, Did You Know That There is a Blog Cadre in DC Who All Know Each Other and Have Happy Hours and Think They Are All Around Cool People But Really They Are Just Bloggers Like Everyone Else And Their Writing Pretty Much Sucks Too Just Like Every Blog Except For A Few?

1. Why.I.Hate.DC. - This one used to be great. James F. had perfected the art of going off on long, angry rants about seemingly minor annoyances. And then he moved away. Of course, before he moved away, he found a replacement: someone named Rusty. Rusty just doesn't have it yet. But that's okay. He's new at this and he gets at least a 6 month period during which he needn't be great every day. Ah, who am I kidding. No blogger is ever great every day, otherwise they wouldn't be just a blogger. Also, I'm a sucker for DC hate, so I'll keep reading no matter what. Heck, I'll recommend it.



2. DCeiver - Don't be put off by the overly clever name. You can't blame someone for going with the really obvious. Fortunately, the rest of the blog is better than the name. Mainly, he writes random stuff that's heavy on the local music scene. Come for the relentless 9:30 Club Forum Hipster bashing, stay for the spot critiques of local culture and lengthy, postmodern, slightly off-kilter playwrighting. Leave for the gratuitous 24 and Lost recaps. But come back, because it will get good again, I swear!



3. DC Bachelor - I don't know what to think. I don't know if the whole thing is one big adventure in trolling. I don't know if he actually thinks he's cool. I don't know if he knows how absurd his posturing is. I don't know if he knows how much his attitude does nothing but make the state of things (mainly M/F relations), about which he complains so vociferously, even worse. I also don't know how I stumbled across his blog in the first place. What I do know is that anyone who so awesomely hated on the CPMC (the only other DC blog I've ever read with any regularity, outside of my own friends' that is) can't be all bad, and for that reason alone I will continue to read his grating, ill-conceived, uncharitable, and somewhat funny blog. He's at his best when he's not writing about women, for instance, his recent series of posts on ridiculous housing ads that he put on Craigslist. I wish I had thought of it first.

Laws That Should Be Passed That Would Make DC A Better Place

1. Pedestrians should be allowed, nay, encouraged to tote around baseball bats and take swings at cars whose drivers do not let pedestrians cross the street without fear of legal reprisal. This would work wonders for the street crossing folk who regularly try to cross upper Connecticut and/or Wisconsin Aves. It's already illegal for drivers not to stop for pedestrians in a cross walk, but this doesn't seem to be working. I have actually stood in the middle of Wisconsin at Ordway RIGHT NEXT TO A BIG YELLOW PYLON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD THAT SAYS "DC LAW: VEHICLES MUST STOP FOR PEDESTRIANS IN CROSSWALK," only to have over a dozen cars totally ignore me, the sign, and the fact that I was pointing at the sign.



2. Any time a DC City Council member does any brazen political grandstanding, they should be summarily kicked off the council and replaced with the next person to successfully register their vehicle at the C St. DMV. This could not possibly make the City Council any worse than it already is and then we wouldn't have to put up with those hosers campaigning for Mayor three years before the next election.



3. I'm not sure if there already is an ordinance, but not cleaning up your dog's crap from a public park or private lawn not owned by you should be illegal. If it already is illegal, let's enforce it. We should hire a team of enforcers to spot the offending parties, follow them to their homes and take giant dumps on their lawns. You wouldn't even need to do this very often before people got the message. It's a win-win!



4. Every mayor, regardless of sex, should be required to wear a bowtie.



5. For a fee, regular citizens should be allowed to purchase diplomatic tags

Notes That I Enjoy

1. Bb


2. C#


3. F


4. A


5. G#

Notes That I Do Not

1. Eb


2. D


3. F#


4. B

My Favorite Books To Pretend That I Have Read In Order To Sound Smarter

1. Finnegan's Wake (Ulysses is for chumps)


2. The Bible


3. Remembrance of Things Past


4. Gravity's Rainbow


5. The Tin Drum


6. Anything Dickens


7. Perry's Chemical Engineer's Handbook. Actually, I have read some of it. It is not a page turner

Books That I Have Read That Might Have Actually Made Me A Little Dumber

1. The Da Vinci Code


2. Jurassic Park


3. Red Rabbit


4. Atlas Shrugged


5. The Way Things Ought To Be