A Ton Of Bricks: Solving the Energy Crisis

Okay, all you politicos and such should listen to me on this one. I know what I'm talking about.

So, we're going to have to face it, we're addicted to crude. Oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea. What are we going to do about it? I'll tell you (bet you didn't see that coming!): Hydrogen. And now you're thinking "Blah, blah, blah. Hydrogen, fuel cells whatever, it's a pipe dream man! A moo point (you know, like a cow's opinion, it just doesn't matter, it's moo?). A fantastical concept dancing its way to oblivion in fantasy land, just riding the Matterhorn over and over, not going anywhere but remaining seated at all times." But I think hydrogen is a feasible power source for all sorts of things. Cars, heat, electricity, rocket fuel etc.

The biggest problem with hydrogen is, where do we get it? You can't just mine it out of the air like you can oil. Wait, I'm not saying that you can mine oil out of the air, you got that, right? So, where will it come from? Can anyone think of a very common substance that is made primarily of hydrogen? Anyone? You, there in the back? Water? That's right, water. H2O. Two parts hydrogen for every one part oxygen. And the beauty of it is that all it takes to separate the H's and the O's is a little electricity. A little simple electrolysis and there you go. This also has the added benefit of producing pure oxygen that can be used in all sorts of applications from the medical industry to um, the rusting industry.

So, now that the hydrogen source problem is solved, where do we get all the electricity needed to do this on a huge industrial scale? Again, I'll tell you: nuclear power. Think about it, what's wrong with this idea? We build a bunch of nuclear power plants to generate electricity to electrolyze water to make hydrogen. We build a hydrogen infrastructure and distribute the gas all around the nation to power our fuel cells and the only pollution that comes out is, that's right, water! It's perfect! Well, there are the considerations that hydrogen is intensely flammable and might be difficult to transport safely, but whatever. If you want my opinion, hydrogen is safer to deal with than gasoline. But that's just me.

Wait, wait, wait. I know what you're going to say, "but, but, but, we can't do that! Nuclear power makes nuclear waste and nuclear waste causes cancer and we don't have anyway to get rid of nuclear waste except bury it in the ground! I don't care that coal fired power plants actually emit more radioactive material into the atmosphere every day than all of the nuclear power plants generate in a year and contain in bomb proof shelters." Okay, those are valid points, but consider this option; instead of burying it here on earth, we could load it up on rockets and fire the nuclear waste into the sun! It won't be here to cause cancer and a tiny little bit of stuff won't hurt the sun. Well, if you're not comfortable with that, why don't we just fire it off into the deep reaches of space? I mean, the chances of it ever hitting anything are infinitesimally small! We could even use the hydrogen we made to fuel the rockets!

And there you have it. That is the solution. QED, or Sine Qua Non, or Quid Pro Quo or whatever you're supposed to say after you've conclusively proved a theory for all time and eternity.


P.S. Don't worry about the rockets blowing up on take off or something and spreading radioactive waste everywhere. We won't let that happen.