I was all poised to write a post about the mess that is modern evangelical christianity. On both sides. I was going to run my "friends of" pictures and everything. Then, I realized that nobody wants to read about this crap, least of all me. Let's just all pat ourselves on our backs because we know how things are supposed to be and everybody else is wrong, the idiots.
So instead of religious pomposity, let's have a contest!
I have used the headline "blowing all the other kids away" for more than 10 months now (okay, exactly 10 months, whatever.) I think it's time to change it up a bit. Unfortunately, I don't have any good ideas. Therefore I will now participate in a cliched (imagine an accent grave over that "e") blog thing. Leave a comment with your idea for a headline and I will choose my favorite. Not the best, just my favorite, and based on my musical tastes as described earlier, you know that my favorites are definitely not the objective best. The winner gets the pleasure of knowing that they won and can use the phrase "winner of the 2006 A Ton of Bricks Headline Competition: Week 1" tag on their own blog. Or you could make a t-shirt with that phrase, that would be cool. Also, the winner will receive one big virtual kiss from me. Unless you're a dude. I don't kiss dudes. In that case you'll get one big, hearty, virtual pat on the back accompanied by a manly grunt of some sort. I might even throw in a "good job, man," if you're lucky.
Some come on people, I need something. Anything.
P.S. If there are no good entries than you're all fired.
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13 comments:
How about your Thought o'the Day today ...
Fun for the whole family!
"Your best life...NOW!"
Wait, that's taken.
How about:
"The best you're likely to get in your pathetic little life...RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"
Adding more words always improves something, and it should keep Osteen's legal jackals at bay.
Here's a good one ...
Freedom from the ordinary.
my thanks to Rick Warren for gagging me with words.
Here's another favorite line, but it's from an advertisement ...
Well, let's go to the adjective wheel.
I know that's stupid, but it cracks me up ...
New rule: further religious themed entries will be automatically tossed out. Actually, this rule is retroactive too. This post was about escaping religious superiority and/or irony. Let's keep the entries meaningless and/or silly, please.
Uh ... the line from the ad is for Nextel (I think). I wasn't being superior and/or ironic with that. It really is a favorite line of mine. I hope it's meaningless and/or silly enough ... I'm too dull-witted to think of anything on my own today. I have to let television do my thinking for me. Oh ... that's pretty funny. That would be a good line for you ...
I have to let television do my thinking for me.
Ms. Solas, I actually loved the "wheel of adjectives" idea and was not referring to it in my new rule. I laughed out loud when I saw that ad. That is the front runner right now.
I was going to suggest:
"Cynicism is the new 'black'",
but then I reread your PS. Threats of termination which contain grammatical errors are so typical, and so depressingly ironic, and so demotivating that I simply cannot go on...
I was going to keep your same syntax, but go the super-hero route. Something like:
Staunchly defending the world as we know it.
Or maybe even better:
Staunchly defending the world as I see it.
PS - I like "really heavy stuff". That's just cheesy and cliche enough to be good.
With a nod to the New York Times:
None of this is fit to print
All the news that's fit to blog
With a not to Fox News:
Fair and impartial my butt
Fair and impartial 'cause I say so
With a nod to Frank and the Sex Pistals:
Doin' it my way
It's my way or else
With a nod to Nietzche:
All the interesting people are here.
With a nod to Macarthur:
In blogging there is no substitute for traffic
In bloging there is no substitute for victory
In life there is no substitute for victory.
With a not to Mao Tse-Tung
Supporting what everyone else opposes
With a nod to Abraham Maslow:
Hammering at the world's nails
Actual quote:
Bob Marley - Free speach carries with it some freedom to listen.
The biggest pile on the block.
Denser than a ton of feathers, but easier to stack.
Better than breakfast.
What's that blue thing doing here? (TMBG)
Hand-crafted, mother-approved.
Almost as good as a ton of money.
I eat black holes for breakfast! (courtesy of the Brag Generator at
http://www.elsewhere.org/cgi-bin/brag )
Wow! We suck. (that was not a suggestion.)
How about A TON OF BRICKS: Taking A Load Off. I like anything that includes the word "load." It sounds slightly scatological, but not so much that you'll get in trouble for intending it.
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