In Ancient Times

Once upon a time there was a young dinosaur. One day he woke up and found that all the other dinosaurs died, and only he was left alive, as though by some sort of divine intervention. He didn't know what to make of his newfound revelation, his own newfound land. He could be anything. He could do anything. He could completely reinvent his life. And he must! He survived for a reason! There is a plan for his life! He has a purpose!

So he set out to discover his purpose. It was not hidden behind any of the rocks in his neck of the ancient sea bed. He hoped that it wasn't stuck under one of the rapidly autolyzing carcasses of his former friends and family. They smelled terrible. He looked and looked, but nothing jumped out at him. Actually, one thing did jump out at him: a small primitive mammal who had a large four-chambered heart, the showy jerk. He tried to eat it, but it was too fast.

He began to despair. He worried that he might never find his purpose. He worried that he'd missed it already and might never get a second chance. Also, he was starting to get hungry. Those dang mammals were speedy and all the slow, stupid saurischians were dead and scavenged. So he kept wandering, half-heartedly looking for his purpose, slowly getting hungrier and hungrier.

Finally, he reached the end of his rope. He hadn't eaten in weeks, and he couldn't go a step further. But right then, he found his purpose! He finally reached the end of his odyssey! Here was his purpose! He was to be the last of the dinosaurs to die off and let the mammals have their way. "What a stupid purpose" he thought to himself. "It would have been way cooler if I was supposed to invent the wheel or something. This sucks."


The moral of the story is....Yum, morels!