The song that I will never, ever get around to writing would have been the greatest song in the history of time. That's right, you heard me. Better than anything that has ever existed or will ever exist. Let me describe it to you in a series of violence-related smilies.
Each and every kick drum beat would sound like a bomb going off.
Each snare hit would sound like a gunshot.
Each hi-hat would sound like the chambering of a bullet in said gun.
Each cymbal crash would sound like a 35 mph delta-v, car crash with a PDOF of around 25 degrees.
Each guitar part would sound like a raging warehouse fire.
And there'd be about 7 different guitar parts at all times, so it would sound like the whole warehouse district was going up in a raging conflagration.
Maybe there would be 8 guitars. I can't decide.
The bass would be distorted like a one-armed warehouse fire burn victim.
The vocals would sound like wounded miner lost deep in a mine, screaming for his life. (all echoey and crap!)
The harmonica would actually be downright pleasant and joyous.
Man, that song would be so good, I can barely wrap my head around it. I don't even know what it's about, but I don't care! It's just that good. Anybody want to make it?
Also, please note that I added a link to what is most likely the best radio station in the history of mankind: KEXP Seattle. It's totally listener supported, which means they can play anything they want, and they do. You'll hear stuff on KEXP that you'll never hear anywhere else. Even cooler, they often have live studio sets on the air. Once, I heard a band called Sex Videos (I don't even want to try and google that to find their website. It's not worth it) play 12 songs in about 15 minutes, not a one of which had intelligible lyrics. It ruled. KEXP streams live on the internets all day long, so you can annoy all of your coworkers. Or if you work from home, you can annoy your family if you turn it up loud enough. If I ever get my song made, I'm definitely going to try to sucker KEXP into playing it.
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2 comments:
What alarms me is that this is the same exact station that my virtual mother-in-law has streaming into her computer that she keeps raving about.
That's all well and good, but the fact that Schuyler and this woman are raving about the same source of music alarms me. It alarms me utterly.
Excuse me -- I need to go unshift my paradigm now, if possible.
sounds like a bitchen mix. but what about the "song" per se ... i.e. "chords" (I-IV-V?), and/or lyrics? you shouldn't give too much away though or someone might copy it and steal it and then they would be rich and you would be poor.
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