I took a short trip to Detroit on Monday to give a presentation about the inner workings of the governmental agency that regulates the auto industry: NHTSA. My audience was a group of 20-some fresh-faced college graduates. I arrived a few hours early and had time to stop in and talk to some of my colleagues in the office. One of the guys I visited is the test lab director. In general he's a pretty nice guy. However, in our brief discussion he said what I consider to be a monumentally ignorant thing. He mentioned that my hair is a lot shorter now than it was the last time he saw me and asked if it was just the Washington influence or if it was maturity. WTF? That ignorant question sums up everything that is wrong with the auto industry. Of course, I didn't say anything that I was actually thinking. I just laughed and said "Probably a little bit of both, ha ha."
Me with longer hair about 10 months ago = Immature (apparently)
Me with short hair now = Mature (apparently)
In my experience, maturity and hairstyle are not really correlated (R-squared of about .35 or so). I find that short hair is much more highly correlated with being insufferably boring. But, that's the automotive industry for you. Traditional to the point of stifling. It almost seems like an unstated rule in the industry that every employee needs to have their soul crushed. No creative thinking. Just do everything by the book, the way we always have. And don't even think about looking different than everyone else, we don't cotton to that real well around here. What's frustrating about this is that at the same time the corporate culture is destroying people's will to live, the industry leaders pay lots of lip service to needing "Outside the box thinking." The irony is that, aside from the OEM design groups, creative thinking is actively discouraged. And people wonder why the domestic auto companies are in trouble. I don't. Even more ironic is that if you look at the history of the automotive industry, it is exactly the non-bureaucratic, creative thinkers that brought it to life! Ford and his assembly lines, the guys that invented turbocharging, the guys that invented the automatic transmission. But all of these innovations took place decades ago. Nearly a century ago, actually. What have we got since then? Okay, I'll grant you the hybrid engine (thanks Japan!) but can you think of any other MAJOR technological development in the automotive world? It's all just been fiddling with the old inventions. There is nothing new under the sun these days.
After having this enlightening discussion, it was almost tragic to walk into the boardroom and face these sweet college kids. They're so idealistic. They truly think that they will make a difference, that things are going to be fresh and exciting and new. But within a year, they will be bitter corporate drones like the rest of us. Knowing that this will happen, I can't feel anything but pity for this innocent children. But we do need more drones to keep this monolith rolling. Status quo is the new revolution. Status quo has always been the revolution. There is no such thing as revolution. Conformity is absolute. Conformity is truth. Go back to work.
P.S. Shortly after the hair comment, the guy I was talking to mentioned that the woman running the program for the new hires I was about to talk to was very attractive. "Not bad for someone in her mid 30's," he said. "She is a good looking woman." Nothing about her business acumen or anything. Just that she was hot. And I'm supposed to listen to this guy about maturity? In my book, how you treat and talk about others says a lot more about your maturity than how you look.
P.P.S Would some indie t-shirt maker please make a t-shirt that says something like "My other hair is long" that us corporate drones could wear.
Something like this. I know I would buy it.
6 comments:
I read your post a few minutes ago, and wanted to say something in response, but could only think of stupid and smartassed comments.
I now realize why. After checking in a mirror, I see that I have long hair. I didn't mean to have it; I've just been too busy and lazy to get it cut.
So I guess you'll just have to wait for my mature and helpful guidance. It'll be here as soon as I get my hair cut.
I almost said a stupid and/or smartassed comment to the guy right then to prove my point. See? Short haired people can be immature too! But then I realized that it wouldn't be a good idea. So I let him do it.
BAH! She was pretty hot "FOR SOMEONE IN HER MID 30S?!!!!"
AAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!
Good thing my office full of corporate drones has no windows. But wait! There's a balcony just steps out the door. But wait -- it's only two floors down, to Filene's Basement. I'll only get paralyzed that way, then I'll be lucky to be "not bad, for a paralyzed old chick."
Oh wait. Did the rest of your blog have a point...
kidding. Great stuff. I'll take one of those shirts! Surely there are sites where you can create your own statement.
I'd like to say something wise AND smartassed about how women should be taken seriously no matter how old they are OR how they look. And so should men. Your co-worker has a LOT of growing up to do no matter how long his hair is. But you, my friend, should grow your hair and not worry about it ... you outstripped him in maturity a long time ago. But maybe I think this way because my hair is short ... or does that make me a lesbian? As some have accused me of ...
Well said, Sonja. However, my boss very specifically told me that I can't have long hair in this job, and being the sissy that I am, I said, "okay sir." I still like to think I'm at least a little bit of a nonconformist on the inside!
i am confronted with the manifestation of your insider auto-industry experience every day -- the soul crushing lack of original though, creative thinking and/or inspiration or passion is rife throughout anything considered both american and automotive. you have confirmed what is already my worst nightmare.
the lip service to "out of the box thinking" is evident in the stylistic meanderings currently cropping up -- starting with models such as PT cruiser, or anything else chrysler is doing these days -- which has all the confident self-identity of a middle school age boy.
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