Random Thoughts Friday

Now, don't get your hopes up. I'm not starting a whole new feature here, I'm just harnessing the power of my rapidly deteriorating brain. I'm coming down with a bad (based on what the Golden Girl has been going through) head cold, which means that my brain is not functioning at its normal high level. Instead, I can't follow one train of thought for more than a few seconds before it derails. Fortunately, this facilitates the creation of a random thought post. So, yipee!

I think that "blogosphere" is a totally apt word, since it reminds me that the world's collection of blogs makes up a huge, floating cloud of crap.

I'd rather be at Disneyland.

The Frosty may be the world's most perfect food.

I've never been to Spain. I haven't been to Oklahoma either, dammit.

Some days, I just can't figure out how I'm going to make it through. I just want it all to end.........Ha Ha Ha! I had you going there didn't I? Maybe I'll start a new feature in which I impersonate other types of bloggers. That was my self-absorbed 15 year old boy with a mean father style. I can't wait to try out celebrity photo blogging!

How come Blogspot's spell checker doesn't recognize "blog" or "blogger" or "blogging?"

Is it sad that I've spent my whole life living in, if not cities, than at least towns? Should seeing a deer or a rabbit or something really be that exciting?

Have you ever noticed that anyone that has one of those big trampolines ends up calling it "the tramp?" "Okay kids, let's all go jump on the tramp!"

The other day, we saw this really weird bug in our house. It had lots of legs, was flat and wide, and was super fast. I think it was just a centipede, but still, it's creepy.

I know it's stupid, but that Heineken commercial where the delivery guy drops a bunch of beer and then a dude in bed with some chick says "I don't know, I just feel so sad" cracks me up every time.

I think the phrase "jump the shark" has jumped the shark.

I have a fake tooth. Once, it fell out of my head and I had to go to work with a missing front tooth. I told everyone that it was knocked out while I stopped a robbery at the 7-11. This was in, like, week two of the first real job I've ever had.

I thought for a second that I'd be disappointed that the new SAT can have scores as high as 2400. Now no one will be impressed with my score anymore. Then I realized that I took that test 8 years ago, and no one ever really cared about it.

Sometimes I can't help but feel proud of myself for being smart. Oh, trust me, I am.

If you think it's a good idea to let your toddler go down an old-school swingset slide while sitting on the trailer of a big toy semi, you're wrong. It's really, really not. If you are kid thinking that it would be fun, you're wrong too.

I have a crash test dummy bobblehead sitting on my desk at work.

Remember the Crash Test Dummies? Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm. Once there was this girl who wouldn't go and change with the girls in the change room. How was that song ever popular?

Remember the Crash Test Dummy toys? Those things were cool. So were the M.U.S.C.L.E toys.

I hate it when it rains here in DC. At the tiniest drop of rain, everybody pulls out these giant, canopy-sized umbrellas and pokes me in the eye. I think they're doing it on purpose.

I used to live in Seattle. If you've never been there, please stop imagining it having rain pouring down all the time. That is so not the case. It's actually just six months of soul crushing drizzle from October to April. In fact, on average, it rains 7 more inches per year in DC than it does in Seattle.

How cool would it be to have a fake eye you could freak people out with?

Okay, here's an experiment for you. Put your iPod on shuffle and just listen. This is a good way to remind yourself how awesome a lot of older bands are. Like the Who. John Entwhistle, Keith Moon, and Pete Townshend are the best rhythm section ever.

Hats off to the new-age hairstyle made of bones. Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones. Speak softly, drive a Sherman Tank. Laugh hard, it's a long ways to the bank.

I've never, ever tried any drugs. I hope I'm not missing anything really cool.

No, I'm not counting alcohol as a drug. Or pseudoephedrine. Or Doritos.

Have you ever seen the movie Straw Dogs? It's really good, but kind of hard to watch. But it has Dustin Hoffman going medieval and some English dudes, so it's cool.

I wish I could be part of a blogger clique.

I wish I lived in an Ivory Tower, because I bet it would be worth a lot of money. I mean, it's ivory!

I think the term "golden parachute" is really stupid. Gold is heavy, so I don't think it would work as a parachute at all. I think the term should be cashmere parachute or something.

The time is right for dancing in the street.

All you anti-Wal-Mart protesters out there, don't you think it would be a better protest if you let Wal-Mart build a store and then just boycotted? It would be pretty embarrassing for Wal-Mart to have to close a store because nobody went to it. Oh, wait. That's right. You all are just an extremely vocal minority that try to prevent everyone else from being able to shop there.

This post has gone on just about long enough.

I think the saying "(blank) is the new black," is really fun to use with completely inappropriate things. For example "Oak trees are the new black."

Okay, on that note, this post has definitely gone on long enough.