This will be phenomenal. Really. You are phenomenal.
Things My Son Said To Me Today When He Wanted To Draw on Our White Board
- I want to color!
- I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT I WANT IT. Please?
- I WAAAAAAAAAAANT IT!
- I want to color, daddy!
- AAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAA
- It's my turn, daddy!
Bills I Paid Today
- Mortgage
- Condominium Fee
- Cell Phone
- Paxton
- Mr.
On Last Night's Baseball Game (See more tomorrow)
- Teams Playing: Washington Nationals and Florida Marlins
- Cost of tickets: $7 each
- Cost of tickets with service charges and fees: $12.50 each
- Seat Section: 532
- Reason for attending: Deadspin field trip
- Number of Deadspin readers and/or writers talked to: 0
- Number of home runs hit by Soriano: 2?
- Number of complete at-bats I watched: <5
- Walks taken with aforementioned son: 2
- Innings pitched: 5
- Should you take the metro to the game: No
- Opinion on naked babies: Neutral to negative
- Best thing on concession menu: Cheese Cup ($1.00)
- Beers that count as "Premium": Corona, Heineken.
- Attendance: 100<, <1,000,000
- Winner of the President Race: Lincoln, oh yeah!
7 comments:
You could have ditched the family and went to the Deadspin after-party at 18th Amendment which was quite ferocious.
Naked babies? Aren't you just begging for a golden shower at that point? In public? Ye gads.
Rusty: In general, ferocious partying is very limited when you have a toddler. It's a fact of life.
Kate: To clarify, I don't know whose baby was naked, just that some drunk girl was badmouthing naked babies. She pointed (slurred) out that my son was cute mostly because he was clothed.
Yeah, I know how it is. My favorite (youngish) professor has a toddler now and he can't go to any of my ferocious house parties and he's all, like, "I have a kid and babysitters are expensive" and I'm all, like, "You've changed, man!"
Moral of the story: I learned nothing in college.
Dude, your professor (you invited professors to house parties?) is only half right. Good babysitters are expensive. I bet he could hire Brenda for about a buck fifty.
whats the mr. bill??
You know, "Ah Mr. Bill! Getting run over by a steamroller! Ahhh!" From old-school SNL? He was some little clay(?) dude that kept getting mangled. Yeah, it's stupid. sorry.
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