I hate seeing dudes on the metro that give all us other twenty-something white guys a bad rep. Everybody thinks we're all d'bags, and it's because of people like the guy I saw last night. First, I noticed him because he poked me in the face with his giant, jumbo-sized magazine. You know the ones. They look like a regular magazine except they are glossier and about 50% wider for no apparent reason. I think to myself "what a jerk. I bet he's reading GQ or some other idiotic man-mag." I get a peek at the cover and, even worse, it's Details. I know that you're thinking nothing could be a stupider magazine than GQ. Well, you're wrong.

With my initial suspicions about this guy confirmed, I decided to check him out. Not in a gay way. So I see that he's wearing a nice crisp white shirt with no tie. He probably took his tie off before getting on the train so he could look "laid back." Actually, I do the same thing, so I can't fault him for that. The problems started below the waist. He was wearing black, pleated suit pants with a brown belt. Talk about a major fashion faux pas. Black and brown? Duuuuude. Plus, pleats? Don't they tell you not to wear pleated pants in Details? I guess not. But the piece de resistance of the whole outfit was his footwear. Light brown leather and canvas flip flops. I don't even have a comment about these.

So, with every bad sterotype of late 20-something white guy rolled up in one package, I just looked at him and wanted to punch him the throat. But I didn't. Then the train got to Cleveland Park, I got off and walked out of the station.

As I exited the station, I thought about that guy and how he was really just another guy trying to make his way in the world, although somewhat stupidly. I decided that I really hoped that he was at least a better Christian than I am. That he was more charitable than I am.

Because then he would've turned his other cheek and I could've punched him again.