Yesterday, the worst happened. Just as my trusty Red Line train started to pull out of Metro Center, just as it started to pick up speed, the operator (driver?) slammed on the brakes and the train came to a screeching stop. My first thought was "Oh no. Some idiot is stuck in one of the doors and got dragged into the tunnel and is now a bloody smear." My second thought was "Why did they have to do it at rush hour? This is going to cause a ferocious delay. I'll never get home." My third thought was "What? I live in Washington. I don't give a rip about other people as long as they are not inconvenienceing me. In that case I want them to die. But, again, not in a way that would inconvenience me. There should be a law that no track jumpers are allowed between 4 and 7 PM. Jerks." My fourth thought was "oh thank God, the train is moving again. I'll get home on time."

Bonus note: Metro needs to teach their drivers to use the brakes properly. There are three popular braking methods, only one of which is correct.

Option 1: Brake smoothly and evenly as the train is pulling into the station, bringing the train to a complete stop in the right location (i.e. there is a door directly in front of where I am standing on the platform) with a small, comforting, "you finally made it," jolt. This is the right way to do it.

Option 2: Come barrelling into the station before braking heavily (probably around 0.7 g's) and bringing the train to a stop with a crunching, horrible jerk. This is not the right way to do it. I will admit that seeing people fall over because they weren't ready is fun. Unless it's me, then it blows chunks.

Option 3: The Soul-Killer. All you train riders know what I'm talking about. The old brake, coast, brake, coast, brake, coast, brake, coast....ad infinitum. Literally infinitum. I think at atom-scale distances the train is still alternatingly braking and coasting. It never fully comes to rest. Unless it does, and then it's with a terrifying jolt. I hate, hate, hate, hate this one. It makes me die a little inside at every station. This is not the right way to do it.

Update: After what happened on the Orange Line Friday at lunch time, I kind of feel like a jerk for writing this. Sorry.