Late Night Excitement at Your Local McDonald's (It Only Happens Once a Year)

Due to the random, roulette-style pricing of airline ticketing, the brickfamily ended up flying home (from the other Washington) late New Year's Eve. We landed at BWI at about 11 PM, stood around at the baggage carousel like cattle waiting to be fed for about 50 minutes, celebrated the new year with Gary the Parking Lot Shuttle Driver, and headed home about 12:25.

And as fun as all that sounds, it didn't even come close to how awesome it was to go to the 24 hour McDonald's on the corner of Wisconsin and Van Ness at 1:15 in the morning. On New Year's.

I've never seen so many sophisticatedly/sluttily dressed people in any fast food joint at that time of day before. Well, actually, I'm not sure if I've ever been to a fast food "restaurant" at that time before. Anyway, I also feel that I should qualify the slutty statement. The sophisticated and the slutty were two distinct subsets of people. The slutty ones were younger and haven't yet figured out that there is more to life than showing a lot of leg. And boob. In January. For instance, not dying of hypothermia. I hope they grow up someday. Funnily enough though, the more sophisticatedly dressed people (not tuxedo sophisticated, but still) tended to be more drunk. In the ten minutes that I was inside (there's no drive-thru) I actually saw two people spill sodas on themselves and several other people staggering around like they just ate a giant can of lima beans and cottage cheese.

But this one dude totally took the cake. Actually, it was an Oreo McFlurry, but whatever. I'm standing there, waiting for the brickwife's 5-piece chicken selects and I overhear this young guy ordering a McFlurry. The total comes out to $2.30. He only has $2.20. And then, I swear I am telling the truth, he says the following words in this order:

"Can I put the last ten cents on my debit card?"

"Is he serious?" I think with what I hope was disguised incredulity.

The cashier didn't understand him, so he says it again.

"Can I put the last ten cents on my debit card?"

Yes, he is absolutely serious. And I'm all, "okay dude, whatever."

So I turn to him and say "Here, I've got a dime." And I give him a dime.

And then he's like "Are you sure???" As if me giving him a dime were the most incredible and generous thing that's ever happened to him.

Not knowing what to say, I just answer "Yes." I mean, what else is there to say, right? It is a freaking dime man. Not a million dollars. Not a dollar. Not even a quarter. What am I going to do with a dime?

So, the moral of the story is...umm......

Okay, so maybe there's no moral. Is that such a big deal? Maybe you should just stop all you moralizing and let people ,like, LIVE, man! Why you always gotta be down on somebody with your bourgaeious morals and legalism and crap? Lighten up, dude!