Monday, October 31, 2005

Yes we've got no money!

Here's a good memory for you all!

Once, right after I got married and we added Maggie to my account, making a joint checking account, I said to myself, "well, no sense keeping these old checks with only my name on them around. I might as well throw them out!"

Little did I know that we had a dumpster-diving vitamin fiend living in our neighborhood. On second thought, looking at where we lived at the time (in The Hyatt apartment building on the corner of 47th Ave NE and NE 15th St in Seattle) the existence of such a person shouldn't have surprised me. Also, little did I know that I was such an unstoppable moron that I would throw away perfectly good checks without tearing them up. Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.

Anyway, cut to a couple weeks later (financial aid day!! WOOHOO!!!!!) when we go to the bank to deposit some money. "Hmm.." I think while I look at the balance, "I don't always keep exact track of how much money we have, but it should be.....well, quite a bit more than this.... So we get home and call the bank and they tell us of all these mystery checks for random amounts that have check numbers not listed in our checkbook register. "Oh crap!" I thought, "My second-worst fear has come true! Someone stole our checks and is out there pretending to be me!" (For your information, my worst fear is falling out of bed into some kind of weird space-time vortex or bottomless pit or something)

So we went to the bank and filled out all kinds of paperwork to get the fraud fixed. The woman who helped us at the Roosevelt Ave Washington Mutual was very helpful (thanks, whoever you were!) The only problem was that we had to wait, like, 20 business days to get our money back. So, we basically ate no food and bought no stuff for awhile. We tried to heat our apartment by lighting copious amounts of candles. It was pretty cool, really. Then, one day, we went back to the Yak to visit family and we totally scored a whole bunch of food from our parents because they felt really bad for us. HAH! Suckers, little did they know, but we actually got all our money back two days before we raided their kitchens! Oh man, they totally got OWNED! (To all of you who think that using OWNED or one of the typoed variations of it is really cool, let me tell you this: There is a big difference between cool and stupid that is immediately obvious to everyone. Except for you, apparently.)

42 comments:

kate said...

But see, you WERE sensible because you didn't merely say, "Hey! No biggie. We can just throw all the expenses on our credit card and pay it all off when we get repaid in three weeks." And then, oops!, find something else to do with the money.
Not that I would know ANYTHING about all that.

Maggie said...

See now Kate, I am afraid that we may have done such a thing except that we had no idea at all when or if we would ever get the money back.
Also, Schuyler you paint us in a bad light, we also didn't know we had the money back when we did said kitchen-raiding.

Liz said...

Not to sound over the hill or anything, but I've never heard the term "owned" as used in your piece. Not to sound stupid, but what does it mean exactly (I can gleem a little from it's usage, but it's still somewhat ambigous to me.)

Sonja Andrews said...

Thanks, Liz ... I'm in the same boat. What does "owned" mean?

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[REDACTED] said...

From what I can tell, from my reading of ridiculous internet fads, "Owned" is usually used in the sense that the person who was "owned" was totally and utterly humiliated and or defeated by the person who did the "owning." In certain circles, it is popular to intentionally mistype common buzzwords, leading to variations such as "pwned," 0wned, P4ned, etc.

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