On Growing

Yesterday, at our relatively disorganized but very fun birthday party for our son, a friend of mine asked me what it was like to be the father of a one-year-old, something he'll be before too long. Now, my initial response was pretty lackluster. Something like, "Well, it involves a lot of chasing around." In my defense, he asked me, a guy who's been on a diet for over a month, while I was eating some awesome chocolate cake, basically the first sweets I've had in weeks. So my answer was actually more like "Mmmphh, well, [chew chew] it involves, mmmmmmmmm, a lot of...chomp, mmmph, chomp.....chasing around." Also, that's a hard question to wrap your head around. But here goes.

First things first, I have a hard time believing that there is a typical answer everyone can give. Children and child-rearing vary so much across the spectrum that I can't answer what it's like to be the father of a one-year-old. I will, however, try to answer what it's like to be the father of my one-year-old. Second things second, children double in age between 1 and 2, so asking what it's like in that year is akin to asking a 60 year-old man what his life has been like for the last 30 years: there's no answer that can really do the momentous events and life-altering experiences justice.

Probably the very best thing about being the father of a one-year old is that he starts to notice when you're not there. Nothing is better than seeing your son get hopping-in-his-seat excited to see you when you get home from work. Before he turned one, he was happy to see me, but didn't understand that I had a schedule. It was more like, sometimes I was there, and sometimes I wasn't, that's all.

Another great thing is all the talking. Levi seems to talk more and more every day, and his vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds. It's incredible to see the day to day changes. I can just imagine everything that's going on in his head!

A mixed blessing that happened for us in Levi's second year was that he started walking. Up until he started walking (kind of late compared to average) we were both hoping for and looking forward to him walking. But then he started walking and you have a whole host of new problems. Streets become dangerous. Stairs, likewise. And boy can that baby climb. If there's a chair, anything is within arms reach. But there are good things about him walking too. Now we can race down the sidewalk saying "Running! Running! Fast!" We can go for walks through out little wooded park and look at trees. We can play tag. Like most things that happen as children grow, walking has two sides of the convenience coin.

I could go on for pages on what it's like to be Levi's dad, and if anyone is interested or wants to know more, I will. However, I do think there is one thing that succinctly gives the right impression of what it's like. Children this age have almost totally uninhibited emotions. It gives me such joy to hear the heartfelt excitement in Levi's voice when I ask if he wants to take a bath. It pains and frustrates me to hear his screaming when he doesn't want to wash his hair. It's like living with someone who has not concept of hiding anything. Actually, that IS what it is, for most children at this age haven't learned the fine art of lying yet. They don't understand that not everyone necessarily knows what they know. Lying is an important developmental milestone, I guess, since it means that they see themselves as an individual separate from you, but for the time being, I'll take total and complete candor over anything.

I hope this gives you some idea, Mike, of what it's like. If not, I can try again, but believe me, it is awesome.