I don’t know what to write about today, but I also don’t want to let everybody down with a blank day so here goes…
An Imaginary Conversation Between Me and Me From Yesterday
Me From Yesterday: Whoa, dude, aren’t you supposed to be in Detroit right now?
Me: Oh, yeah, that. It got cancelled when I got a call from my company’s VP of Engineering last night at 11:00 PM.
MFY: That’s kind of late for a phone call, isn’t it? Wait a minute….does this mean that I didn’t need to rush to get so much stuff done earlier since I’m not going to Detroit now?
Me: Ah ha ha ha. Sucker!
MFY: Whatever dude. It’s not like you didn’t have to do it. We’re the same person you know.
Me: Man, this is weird huh?
MFY: Sort of like an existential temporal mirror in which we can see that which humans should never be privileged to see.
Me: I guess. This is kind of a boring conversation though. Can you think of anything more interesting to talk about?
MFY: Okay, how about this: Do you ever get annoyed when …
Me: Constantly.
MFY: What the??? I didn’t even finish my sentence!
Me: Trust me, I know what you were going to say, remember?
MFY: Oh. Yeah.
Me: So tell me, me, what are five things that you would pay good money for?
MFY: Some Black Butte Porter. Umm, maybe a flaming sword of truth? Six pieces of Almond Roca. For Maggie to get better, and my two front teeth. LOL! Get it? My two front teeth? Like the song?
Me: Good Lord! Am I always this stupid?
MFY: Well, yeah, pretty much, I think.
Me: Also, I have some bad news. Maggie still isn’t better.
MFY: Crud Muffins!
Me: So….Ummm… this seems to be going nowhere….
MFY: Okay, let’s kick things up a notch. BAM!
Me: I’m pretty sure that time traveling into the future makes one inherently more stupid, because there’s no way that I would think to say things like that in real life.
MFY: Except that I don’t exist and you’re thinking them up right now chowderhead!
Me: What? No, I, um, wait…That…..I…..Whooda…..What…..
MFY: Sucks to be you!
Me: I knew this phony self interview thing was a bad idea.
MFY [dancing around in a clown costume]: La La La La La La, I’m a big fat monkeyman, doing my little monkey dance!
Me: Somebody shoot me.
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7 comments:
Yes, that's better!
in motel. In sw VA. Laughing so loud that the wife is chastising me and the neighbors think we're up to something.
So just how many drugs did you take in college :)
"Crud Muffins"???? lol
To be honest, Liz, I have never taken any kind of illicit substance in my life. Everything here comes straight out of my own unpolluted brain.
Hmmmm, maybe that's actually worse....
It's funny Schuyler, I've never done drugs either -- but lots of people have told me that I often think like someone who's done lots of drugs. Maybe that's why I like your humor :-)
Liz
HAR!
This actually reminds me a lot of The Time Traveler's Wife. Which is pretty intriguing. I have it, if anyone wants to borrow.
Great stuff, Schuyler!
(Sorry to hear Maggie isn't better. What's the only thing worse than being sick? Having to take care of a small child or children full-time while sick! Poor lady.) :(
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