List Tuesday: I Worked Here Last Year, Remember?

A Bunch of Complete Non Sequiturs Presented As a Coherent List

1. Hey, guess what? Thursday is my birthday!


2. I will be (3.456E10*(3^3*(1825/SQRT(25))+7)*(SQRT(3600)))/((8^(1/3))*3
   *SQRT(5^2-3^2)) microseconds old.


3. While you were figuring out that equation, I was at your house stealing all your fruit roll-ups.


4. Avogadro's number of s'mores would weigh more than the known universe.


5. When I was in Miami last week, I ate some stone crab claws. Here are some little known facts about stone crabs: they taste better than Maryland crabs. You only eat the claws because that's all that is harvested, one claw at a time. It's a true renewable resource.


6. P.S. Miami is stupid


7. What is the resonant frequency of paper?


8. If I was ever to direct a movie (I mean, other than The Big Deuce-kee), I would totally hire Janusz Kaminski to be the cinematographer.


9. I know everything about film.


10. I've seen over 240 of them.


11. Yesterday, I ate some Indian food.


12. The name for this month, November, has roots in the ancient greek. Nov means "time" and embere is the root meaning "to use the word 'cornucopia' for no good reason at all."


13. Yes, you can blame Dave Barry for that


14. 34 years ago today, Gene Rodenberry probably did something.


15. Remember Tiananmen Square? That was pretty cool.


16. The state of Arizona has more gravel than any other state.


17. Whenever I see a monkey, I can't help but think s/he would be better off in a costume of some kind


18. There is a good chance that the world is naught but a lamppost of danger amidst the cacophony of time.


19. Someday, I want to write a memoir: I Was a Mediocre, Unread Blogger: The Story of A Life Lived Very Far From the Edge.


20. No one will buy it.


21. Don't forget to do that thing!


22. "Guest" rhymes with "best." I don't know what to make of that.


23. What if everything that rhymed was true?


24. Well, it's not.


25. Yeah, but what if!


26. Let's do a contest!