A Watch With A Minute Hand

Due to an unexpected day off from work, I've got some extra time. What's the best thing to do with extra time? Yep, go to the library, check out 6 movies and watch them. I was going to write a post reviewing each of the six movies, but I couldn't wait more than 3/4 of the way through the first one. It's called "What the (Bleep) Do We Know. Putting it into the same post as Network, Chinatown, Duck Soup and Bonnie and Clyde wouldn't be fair to anyone.


The Review
PLEASE DO NOT WATCH IT. It is the worst movie in the history of the world (even worse than Practical Magic if you can believe it). How it ever got more than 1 star on Amazon is as beyond me as any little grasp of science is beyond this movie. It's like watching the crazy chef character from Beakman's World explain the ideas from a Deepak Chopra book. If that doesn't put you off, how about this? The main message of the movie is that anything wrong in your life is your own damn fault because you are thinking wrong and are addicted to your negative emotions. The Holocaust? Yep, those European Jews brought it on themselves because they really were addicted to the persecution. (No, smartass, Godwin's rule doesn't apply here because I didn't specifically mention Hitler. Crap!) Same goes for those negative thinking idiots in Darfur etc. And to add to all these horribly mis-guided ideas, it's a crummy movie. I mean, it really just sucks. Note to the filmmakers: if you are going to have interviews in a movie implying that these people know what the hell they are talking about, you really, really, really have to put their names on the screen or else I'm just going to assume they are a bunch of phonies reading from a teleprompter. This is essentially the polar opposite of a real science movie. I've never agreed with censorship, but if all copies of this movie could be loaded onto a rocket and fired into the heart of the sun, the universe would become a better place. Maybe by positively thinking, I can make it happen. *closes eyes and meditates on breaking the laws of physics as taught to do by this movie* Damn. It's still playing. What a bunch of baloney.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE.


A few choice quotations -

"I'm taking this time to create my day. I'm affecting the quantum field."

"You are a God in the Making"

"God is the superposition of all spirits."

"I can influence space itself. I am responsible for all those things."

"It is my belief that our purpose is to be [something idiotic that I couldn't hear because I have no category in my mind to understand such a nonsensical statement]"

"Everyone is God"

P.S. I'm going to start praying to You today.

P.P.S. I know what the (bleep) they know. They know how to make a God-awful synth-heavy soundtrack.

P.P.P.S. Oh, oh oh this is too good. One of the "experts" is a teacher at, I can hardly say this with a straight face, Ma....Maha.....Maharishi University. ROTFLMAO.

Back in the Saddle

Okay, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but I've been busy, ya know? My parents are coming into town this week, so we've got to make our house all ready. I think we'll get there. Anyway, on to today's interesting post.

A Philosphical Discussion of the Physics of Two 80's Time Travel Movies

In this post, we will examine the different time travel philosophies of Back to the Future and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure in order to try to determine the feelings of the both the audiences and the filmmakers.


Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (Not B&T's Bogus Journey. That never happened, do you hear me. It. Never. Happened.) is a fine example of the fatalistic philosophy of time travel. Everything that you can do has already been done. You cannot change the future by changing the past, since everything you did in the past is already reflected in the future from which you came. Did you follow that? For example, in the movie, there is one scene in which Bill and Ted meet the Bill and Ted of the day before. You know, the scene in the parking lot of the Circle K where the old Bill and Ted are talking to Rufus? Well, anyway, the future Ted reminds the Past Ted to wind his watch, but we already know that the past Ted will forget anyway, since the future Ted forgot and changing the past won't make any difference, because the past has already been changed and is now the present or future. Right. Basically, what this is saying is that there is only one space-time continuum and that all actions are reflected in that same continuum. No alternate universes for this movie. Anyway, that whole philosophy is used to excellent effect throughout the movie with keys, and presentations and the like. I also think that this philosophy fits in well with late 80's Cold War Fatalism. It seems to say that everything is how it was fated to be. Going back in time in order to change the future is fruitless. Mankind will always make the same mistakes. Fortunately, by the end, though nobody knew it was the end at the time, of the Cold War, we, as Americans, were able to laugh at this fatalism and enjoy the movie, even though we knew that Bill and Ted would succeed. I mean, how could that future world in which Bill and Ted are world heroes exist if they failed back in the 80's? Exactly.


Back to the Future, on the other hand, takes a totally different approach to time travel. The whole movie is plotted around that point that changing the past must necessarily change the future. If Marty's parents don't hook up, his family will cease to exist and he himself will disappear. Well, you know how the story goes. This has very interesting implications for physics. It seems to say that every action can create a seperate, but parallel universe. Apparently, though, time travel lets you exist, at least temporarily, in more than one universe. Actually, I think that Back to the Future's time travel philosophy is kind of lame. I mean, changing the past changes the future, all right, that's fine, but how come the time traveler himself doesn't change? I mean, now your past has been changed too, so shouldn't your future self reflect this change automatically? But it doesn't? How could McFly move from one universe to another? Why, when he went back to the future, did he go to the universe in which Biff was McFly Sr's lackey and not back to the one that he came from? It's crap if you want my opinion. There are inconsistencies with time travel in this movie. For example, Marty plays Johhny Be Good at the 1955 Under the Sea dance or whatever and Chuck Berry hears him over the phone. But back in the 80's, Marty learned Johhny Be Good from old Chuck Berry recordings. If past actions affect the future, where did this song come from? In the 80's there would be no Johnny Be Good since Marty had never gone into the past thus Chuck Berry never heard it, so thus there is no way Marty could know it in the future. The only other option is that the song was just created out of the ether by no one, and we know that can't be true. I think that Back to the Future's philosophy reflects the good we like to see in ourselves: one person can make a difference. We can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. Classic 80's Reagan philosophy.

All in all, I hold with the Bill and Ted version of time travel. Not that I think time travel will ever be possible, but if it is, who cares since our current world is already the result of that time travel.

Ahh, feels good to be back with another nonsensical, rambling post....