Rememberance of Things Past

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You know, I was just thinking, it’s been three years since went to one of the best parties I’ve ever been to. Almost exactly three years ago, we were preparing to leave DC for the northern wastes of Detroit, Canada. So our great friends in the current snow capitol (well, actual Capitol, too, I suppose) of the country threw a pretty great going away party. There was karaoke and some of it was even custom written for us! There were some beers, some scrapbooking, some kids.

It’s kind of hard for me to believe that it was three years ago that we left. That’s half my son’s life (almost)! Hell, my daughter has NEVER been there and she’s almost a year old. I feel like this post is getting a little melancholy, so I’d better wrap it up (in Bacon, so it’s more delicious).

Anyway, it was a great party three years ago, and I’m afraid our going away party in Michigan won’t be quite as good. Hopefully our “welcome back” party in DC next month will make up for it.

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Slight Modifications May Be Performed As Needed

So, according to the Wall Street Journal (among other sources), maybe I wasn't that far off 18 months ago when I first started worrying and was even less far off nearly a year ago. And all this time I thought that I was probably just letting my disillusionment, paranoia and anger run away with me.

The weirdest thing is that there is a decent chance I was ahead of the curve! I haven't been ahead of any curves since I was in college. And just like those curves, being ahead of this one will be monumentally meaningless.

But forgetting the real world and the actual state of human existence, wouldn't it be awesome if rabbits could talk?! I was telling my son a story last night in which he and some now-far-removed friends were playing baseball with a bunch (well, one rabbit named Bunkers, one cat named Ratatat and one lizard named Alfred) of talking animals. It sounded wicked fun. Except when he demanded that I end the story with a vicious snowstorm. I didn't like that part. What I particularly don't like about it is that it's still only April. Vicious snowstorms are decidedly not out of the picture yet.

And also, just because I haven't done it in a while: There are 10 links in this post

Sixteen Tons, and What Do You Get?

So, I was reading this book the other day. It was pretty good.

Then, after I finished reading the book, I listened to a new CD. It was pretty good, too. Then I listened to it again and it was a little better.

After that, I went to work. It was pretty good.

After I got home from work, I went to some store or another. I was pretty good. Not as good as NOT going to the store, but better than eating a shit sandwich.

Then I started finishing another book. It was pretty good in a different way from the other book that I finished.

Then I went to work again.

List Tuesday: I'd Sing You a Song But They Blew it Away

Songs That May or May Not Be Performed by The Growlers On Their 2007 World Tour

1. American Pie


2. Down On The Corner


3. Mary Jane’s Last Dance


4. Blister in the Sun


5. A Way Back Into Love


6. Dust in the Wind


7. Mr. Jones


8. I’m Gonna Be (1000 Miles)


9. We’re Not Gonna Take It


10. Last Kiss


11. Cinnamon


12. Where Did You Sleep Last Night


13. Pennyroyal Tea


14. Monster Mash


15. Have You Ever Seen The Rain


16. Horse With No Name


17. Jesus Don’t Want Me For A Sunbeam


18. Hard Day’s Night


19. What I got


20. Cotton Fields


21. The Scientist


22. Signs


23. Back In Black


24. You Shook Me All Night Long

Please feel free to suggest more songs for the setlist provided that the following conditions are met:

1. Key of Gmajor


2. No more than one or two Em thrown in

All My Lies Are Always Wishes

HOW TO TURN A USDA CHOICE SIRLOIN STEAK INTO A SALT LICK

Follow all instructions very carefully

1. Buy some USDA Choice Sirloin steaks on sale at Meijer.


2. Gripe about having to shop at Meijer where everybody is rude.


3. Think, "Wow, it's just like being back in DC except everyone (including me) is fatter!


4. Walk down the baking aisle and note that it is the only part of the store that isn't a zoo.


5. Think, "what is this country coming to when nobody bakes their own food anymore. At least we are not like that. We at least bake our own bread.


6. In a bread machine.


7. At home, 90 minutes before grilling time, take the steaks and pat them dry to remove excess water.


8. In your Crate and BarrelTm granite mortar and pestle, mash together some fresh, homegrown rosemary and some minced garlic.


9. Spread garlic-rosemary mash liberally on one side of the steaks.


10. Cover the steaks on both sides with non-iodized salt so that you can't even see any red hardly ,in order that the water in the steaks gets drawn out by the salt to dry them out so that they taste like prime steaks instead of choice.


11. Let steak sit there for about 75 minutes.


12. Half-assedly rinse the surfaces of the steaks to remove the excess salt and garlic-rosemary mash.


13. Grill to taste.*


14. Taste will be salt.

*At least 4 Rolling Rocks (or similar) must be consumed while grilling. Includes grilling time for dishes other than steaks.

This is Where The Party Ends

I'm sorry. I haven't been blogging regularly. I looked. There's no blog equivalent of Metamucil. And eating more fiber doesn't help. Trust me.

Just so you know, like most things in the world, my life since my last post can be summed up succinctly with to TFD comics. They are eerily accurate. F'n Drew, man.

Bad Photoetry Thursday: I've Seen Everything Imaginable

The Original!

Warcene Creed courtesy of Get Your War On!

What Time Is It

I love when people use the old adage that "even a broken clock is right twice a day." That is, like, the best backhanded compliment ever.

But how come nobody ever points out the corollaries to this?

1. A non-broken clock is right all of the time.


2. If the clock is broken because the minute hand fell off, it will never be right in a million billion (a quadrillion) years.


3. If the clock was set for 24-hour days, it will only be right once a day


4. If it's a digital clock and the battery died, it will always be [blank] o'clock and thus never correct.


5. There is no such time as 12:00.

Bad Poetry Thursday: All is Dark Edition

I love bad poetry, it is so much funetry. My goal here is to make this poetry not make any sensetry. It's not very difficult and it sounds like something my 10th grade English teacher would have likedetry. He had terrible taste in poetry.

Look into the Mirror and Repeat My Name Three Times
by Mothface McGee


A world away
A goldfish flaps its wings
and a tornado happens
In a Back Alley.

The World is a vampire
And I am the one
That invited him in.

Man is dead
And the world is dead
And love is dead
And death is dead.

Who wants to party?
I've got three cases of
Imported organic beer
That will go bad tomorrow.
Let's all go to the lobby
And buy ourselves a snack
To eat while our bodies go.