- 9/11 Conspiracies: I'm on record as thinking these are a load of internet crap. Literally. I don't believe that they are created by any individual but instead by the internet itself as it continuously devours and digests all that information. 9/11 conspiracies are the sold waste product of that process (aka: poop). MySpace is the liquid waste product.
- Zionist Global Domination: Historically, the grandaddy of them all, plus believing in it would put me in the same raft as Kareem-Abdul Admindenihajabidad or whatever that Iranian guy is called. He is a world-class conspiratist. Still, it doesn't scream "21st century!!!one!!" loudly enough. More like "16th century."
- Peak Oil Apocalypticism: Oooh, this one is very appealing. Imminent (but not too close) destruction of our way of life, oil company bashing, middle east involvement, the Bushes, nuclear war, this one really has it all. But I've got no faith in it. There are too many people with too much money riding on this to have it come true. THEY won't let it happen.
- AIDS was created in a Lab to control the black population. By the CIA: Patently absurd. Which makes it a perfect conspiracy actually. Nah, too weird for my tastes. And too loaded with racial stuff. I'm on record as not believing in the existence of races.
- The Moon Landing Never Happened, Man: If there hadn't been a movie (starring The Juice, by the way) made about something really similar, this would be it. But there was. So it's not.
- The Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy: You know, how all all airplane manufacturers make the right wing slightly heavier than the left which in turn actually affects the rotation of the earth so that more sunlight hours are given to solar power stations run by Halliburton.
- Chemtrails: Yep. This is it. I will become a dyed-in-the-wool chemtrail apologist. What's not to like?
- Chemicals of unknown origin and purpose? CHECK
- Potential mind control by powers unknown? CHECK
- Involvement by the Japanese mafia, also known as the Yakuza? PROBABLY
- Wikipedia entry to which I can point unbelievers (to have them thoroughly convinced that I am definitively wrong? DOUBLE CHECK.
- And last, but certainly not least, websites devoted to LETTING THE MASSES SEE FOR THEMSELVES with unsubstantiated rumors/claims and only slightly modified pictures? CHECK MATE!
Also, please note that I am done delaying the obvious (thanks Rusty) in that my next twelve (inclusive of this one) post titles will be quotations from GnR's fantastic Appetite for Destruction album
7 comments:
What about these attempted conspiracies?
"Side-Impact Infant Car Seats"
That 'Welcome to the Jungle' was written in Seattle.
"'All Natural' Deodorant".
O ... come on. You didn't even give lip service to the JFK/Lincoln conspiracy? They are SO linked. You've got to believe in that one.
This post makes me laugh. Good one. I've always been vaguely partial to a conspiracy theory about high-power electric lines. I just don't know what the theory is yet.
Briefly: if by Side-Impact Infant Car Seats you are referring to the recently published misleading, non-real-world, downright dangerous "study" conducted by Consumer Reports, well, we can talk about that.
Also, I think the high-voltage power line conspiracy has something to do with Electromagnetic Fields and their propensity to cause ball lightning in crop circles. But I'm not exactly sure.
Oooo - I want to know more about the consumer reports study!! I read it and my infant seat happens to be the one rated as "best" in that report, but I'd love to know more as it's a huge topic of discussion in the mommy world.
About conspiracies - I'm pretty sure my parent's religion is centered around them. Other than #6 my parents are pretty much fully convinced of all of these. When 9-11 happened, they had their house battery wired for the imminent power failure. They still live in fear that they will be the next Ruby Ridge. Most of modern medicine is a hoax and most ailments can be cured by a product known as "Ambrotose". They get most of their news from short wave radio broadcasts. They're very devout when it comes to this stuff.
'Fess up now, Schuyler. Did you actually CREATE the Wikipedia entry on that last one? I've never heard of it.
Oh yeah Kate - my dad believed the Clintons were doing that back a decade ago to influence crops for their political gain (fake global warming, etc.).
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