Sometimes when you're lying awake in bed at 2 or 3 AM and thinking about the state of things, do you ever come to that conclusion that maybe, just maybe, all things considered, being as honest with yourself and the world as you can, the best answer to life, the universe and everything is, in fact, nihilism?
What??? Me? Heavens no! Where did you get that idea? Did you not read the question?? I specifically asked if you ever thought that, not if I did.
Honestly!
Showing posts with label Wild Guesses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wild Guesses. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Death and that Fickle Dame, Fame.
So, I'm currently reading a biography of Kurt Cobain. Not for any real reason other than I thought it might be interesting. I'm not far enough in to decide how I feel about it, but for those of you who regularly read biographies (i.e. not me), do they always contain a lot of pop psychology analysis of how someone's childhood wrecked/hindered/ameliorated their adult life? If so, it's kind of annoying. Anyway, in reading this biography I have been formulating a horribly hackneyed and clichéd theory that dying or killing yourself will make you more famouser than other people. The following are a few unresearched and undocumented and sketchy case studies to "prove" my point.
VS
Believe it or not, these two used to be mentioned in the same breath as twin quasars of rock. Then look what happened. Kurt killed himself a few months after performing the best MTV Unplugged set ever (no I will not change my mind about this) and went out in a blaze of glory. Corgan, on the other hand, released a phenomenally popular bloated double album, broke up one of the best guitar bands of the 90's and is now some bald headed weirdo playing meandering electronic music. Recently, Mr. Corgan has even fallen far enough to publically pine for the reuniting of his old band, trying to get back a little of that faded glory. To sum it up: Cobain - Blaze of Glory. Corgan - Faded Glory. ALso, there have been at least 3 movies about the life and death of Kurt Cobain. There have been none about Billy Corgan. Finally, ask any "oh, my life sucks and I can only find my escape from my awful parents in music" fifteen year old who is better, Nirvana or the Smashing Pumpkins. They probably haven't even heard of the Smashing Pumpkins.
Was your response the same as mine? Roger McWho?? That's because he's not dead. If you don't know, he was the lead singer of the Byrds. Who were the Byrds, you ask? A band that was also from LA but is not as famous as the Doors because Roger didn't die. Don't think the two bands are comparable? You are way overestimating the popularity the Doors had at the time. Do you know why? Exactly. Because Jim Morrison died at a young age. I wouldn't say he went out in a blaze of glory though, more like a face of hair. Number of movies made about Jim Morrison: at least 1. Movies made about Roger McGuinn: None that I know of.
VS
Both were standout female singers back in the sixties. Ms. Slick was actually more successful. She was maybe even a better singer, but what's your reaction when you hear her name now? "Oh, you mean that crazy old washed up hippie?" Janis Joplin, however, brings to mind a rock and/or roll life lived on the edge. Who knows though, maybe if Ms. Joplin hadn't have died she would have proceeded to record the worst song ever. Instead, she did die and left the onerous task of recording the worst song ever up to Ms. Slick, who succeeded admirably. Just try to listen to We Built This City. I can't bring myself to.
Again, we have the "Who?" factor, as in "Who in the world is Jeff Beck?" Who cares? I mean sure, he was a good guitarist and all, but, come on, did he die by choking on his own vomit? No he did not. That means he's still around today, just another sad, aging musician who didn't know when to call it quits. And Jimi Hendrix? Who knows what he would have done? By the time he died he was already getting a little weird. Instead, he took the high road and ODed on something. Maybe he would have turned out to be another Brian Wilson. You know, an amazingly talented crazy dude who is looked at with a little respect and a lot of sympathy. Brian, you should have offed yourself. You'd be a GOD now. Like Jimi is.
VS
Do I even need to say anything about this? She died because of a ham sandwich. A ham sandwich, for crying out loud! I mean, it's not even a cool way to die! But because of it, she's the only one from the Mamas and the Papas anyone remembers. Behold, the power of death.
There are so many more examples, I don't have time to go into all of them. Just consider:
P.S. Did you know that Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Whatsisface Johnson all died at the age of 27? Weird huh?
Kurt Cobain Vs. Billy Corgan
VSBelieve it or not, these two used to be mentioned in the same breath as twin quasars of rock. Then look what happened. Kurt killed himself a few months after performing the best MTV Unplugged set ever (no I will not change my mind about this) and went out in a blaze of glory. Corgan, on the other hand, released a phenomenally popular bloated double album, broke up one of the best guitar bands of the 90's and is now some bald headed weirdo playing meandering electronic music. Recently, Mr. Corgan has even fallen far enough to publically pine for the reuniting of his old band, trying to get back a little of that faded glory. To sum it up: Cobain - Blaze of Glory. Corgan - Faded Glory. ALso, there have been at least 3 movies about the life and death of Kurt Cobain. There have been none about Billy Corgan. Finally, ask any "oh, my life sucks and I can only find my escape from my awful parents in music" fifteen year old who is better, Nirvana or the Smashing Pumpkins. They probably haven't even heard of the Smashing Pumpkins.
Jim Morrison Vs. Roger McGuinn
VS
Was your response the same as mine? Roger McWho?? That's because he's not dead. If you don't know, he was the lead singer of the Byrds. Who were the Byrds, you ask? A band that was also from LA but is not as famous as the Doors because Roger didn't die. Don't think the two bands are comparable? You are way overestimating the popularity the Doors had at the time. Do you know why? Exactly. Because Jim Morrison died at a young age. I wouldn't say he went out in a blaze of glory though, more like a face of hair. Number of movies made about Jim Morrison: at least 1. Movies made about Roger McGuinn: None that I know of.
Janis Joplin Vs. Grace Slick
VSBoth were standout female singers back in the sixties. Ms. Slick was actually more successful. She was maybe even a better singer, but what's your reaction when you hear her name now? "Oh, you mean that crazy old washed up hippie?" Janis Joplin, however, brings to mind a rock and/or roll life lived on the edge. Who knows though, maybe if Ms. Joplin hadn't have died she would have proceeded to record the worst song ever. Instead, she did die and left the onerous task of recording the worst song ever up to Ms. Slick, who succeeded admirably. Just try to listen to We Built This City. I can't bring myself to.
Jimi Hendrix Vs. Jeff Beck
Again, we have the "Who?" factor, as in "Who in the world is Jeff Beck?" Who cares? I mean sure, he was a good guitarist and all, but, come on, did he die by choking on his own vomit? No he did not. That means he's still around today, just another sad, aging musician who didn't know when to call it quits. And Jimi Hendrix? Who knows what he would have done? By the time he died he was already getting a little weird. Instead, he took the high road and ODed on something. Maybe he would have turned out to be another Brian Wilson. You know, an amazingly talented crazy dude who is looked at with a little respect and a lot of sympathy. Brian, you should have offed yourself. You'd be a GOD now. Like Jimi is.
Eliot "Mama" Cass Vs. Anyone Else In The Mamas And The Papas
VSDo I even need to say anything about this? She died because of a ham sandwich. A ham sandwich, for crying out loud! I mean, it's not even a cool way to die! But because of it, she's the only one from the Mamas and the Papas anyone remembers. Behold, the power of death.
There are so many more examples, I don't have time to go into all of them. Just consider:
- Buddy Holly (Revered Early Rock God) Vs. Little Richard (Now Playing County Fairs!)
- John Bonham/Keith Moon Vs. The Drummer for the Rolling Stones. Seriously, do you even know who that is? Or the Drummer from Cream? Nobody knows that one. Ginger Rogers or something like that?
- Dimebag Darrell Vs. The Rest of Pantera. Most people don't even know who Pantera are!
- Bono Vs. Michael Stipe. Actually, neither of these guys are dead. It's just that the world would be better off without them.
- Danny Gatton Vs. Eric Clapton. Well, Clapton is and will always be more famous, which is a crying shame. Danny Gatton was the best guitarist of his generation and he couldn't even get any publicity by committing suicide. You should have heard him play, with his fingers flying across the frets as if by magic. Life's not fair I guess.
- Some rap dudes, but I don't know anything about rap, so I will not comment.
P.S. Did you know that Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Whatsisface Johnson all died at the age of 27? Weird huh?
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Anglophilia Rides Again
I'll be upfront about this; I like the English language. It's bizarre, hard to learn (for native speakers of other languages) and it's constantly changing. Now, I'll discuss some of my favorite things about it! Full disclosure: I am an engineer who also loves to read and is married to a mathematician who is also somewhat of a grammar queen. Thus I have come to appreciate how intricate our language is and how many other people (I'm looking at you, engineers) don't really know how to use it properly.
First, the size of the English language is astounding. Do you have any idea how many words you know? Me neither, but I bet it's a lot! Even people that weren't forced to take vocabulary in high school and will never, ever be able to forget those words know more than 10,000 words (total and completely bogus guess, but I bet the order of magnitude is about right). Those of us that read a lot, and are relatively good writers (do not judge this claim based on your reading of this blog. I think it sucks too.) probably have a vocabulary approaching 100,000 words. That just boggles my mind, literally sometimes as I try to recall a certain word that I know I know. Of course, in most cases, a large portion of those 100,000 words are technical-type words that will never be used in general conversation (i.e porosity, capacitance, enthalpy, etc.), but who cares! It's still a lot of words!
Second, written English can be hilarious. Most people communicate primarily by speaking and listening, which means homophones are almost impossible to distinguish in terms of spelling. The meaning is, of course, obvious by the context. The comedy comes in when people are forced to write and want to use words they have only heard. This leads to sentences like the following:
Third, it really gets on my nerves when people don't understand the meaning of words but use them anyway. Case number one: irony. Irony is a great concept, both poignant and painful. It can cause minor irritation or devastating disappointment. However, it is an entirely different concept from suckiness. I blame Alanis Morissette for this horrible bastardization of the word. Let's look at her song Ironic and see what we find! All of the following are called "ironic."
Rain on your wedding day.
Not ironic, it just sucks.
10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.
Not ironic. What would be ironic is if you had 10,000 knives yesterday, but you needed a spoon.
A free ride, when you already paid.
How could it be a free ride if you paid? Not only is this not ironic, it doesn't even make sense!
A death row pardon, two minutes too late.
Okay, that is ironic.
Those are just a few examples from the song, which horribly mixes the ironic with the non-ironic. Here are the complete lyrics for you in case you were living in a cave 10 years ago. Finally, let me point out that there is a difference between sarcastic and ironic. Not everything that is ironic is also sarcastic. All you twenty-somethings that use these synonymously, please, please stop before MY HEAD ASPLODES! They are similar, yes, but the connotations are very different. Sarcastic has more in common with sardonic than it does ironic. Why not use sardonic more? That's a good word!
As a final note, please feel free to disagree with me completely. That's another beauty of the English language; it is constantly and rapidly changing, so who knows what tomorrow might bring. There are, however, those among us that insist on following "rules" that were originally put in place to differentiate the educated rich from the uneducated poor. When you insist on using these rules, you are helping the MAN! Come one, stick it to the man! Use "poor" grammar! Say "Where are you at?" Say "Who'd have thunk?" On the other hand, don't make yourself look like an idiot at work when you write reports and stuff. "Good" grammar still makes a favorable impression. For list of common "errors" and how to avoid them, check this out!
I really hope there aren't too many errors in this post. I'll feel really stupid, but please feel free to point them out.
First, the size of the English language is astounding. Do you have any idea how many words you know? Me neither, but I bet it's a lot! Even people that weren't forced to take vocabulary in high school and will never, ever be able to forget those words know more than 10,000 words (total and completely bogus guess, but I bet the order of magnitude is about right). Those of us that read a lot, and are relatively good writers (do not judge this claim based on your reading of this blog. I think it sucks too.) probably have a vocabulary approaching 100,000 words. That just boggles my mind, literally sometimes as I try to recall a certain word that I know I know. Of course, in most cases, a large portion of those 100,000 words are technical-type words that will never be used in general conversation (i.e porosity, capacitance, enthalpy, etc.), but who cares! It's still a lot of words!
Second, written English can be hilarious. Most people communicate primarily by speaking and listening, which means homophones are almost impossible to distinguish in terms of spelling. The meaning is, of course, obvious by the context. The comedy comes in when people are forced to write and want to use words they have only heard. This leads to sentences like the following:
- Shortly after he woke this morning, Trevor decided to dawn his favorite Eagles jersey.
- The suburbs are full of track housing.
- While she was totally hammered, Matilda tried to walk threw a plate glass window.
Third, it really gets on my nerves when people don't understand the meaning of words but use them anyway. Case number one: irony. Irony is a great concept, both poignant and painful. It can cause minor irritation or devastating disappointment. However, it is an entirely different concept from suckiness. I blame Alanis Morissette for this horrible bastardization of the word. Let's look at her song Ironic and see what we find! All of the following are called "ironic."
Rain on your wedding day.
Not ironic, it just sucks.
10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.
Not ironic. What would be ironic is if you had 10,000 knives yesterday, but you needed a spoon.
A free ride, when you already paid.
How could it be a free ride if you paid? Not only is this not ironic, it doesn't even make sense!
A death row pardon, two minutes too late.
Okay, that is ironic.
Those are just a few examples from the song, which horribly mixes the ironic with the non-ironic. Here are the complete lyrics for you in case you were living in a cave 10 years ago. Finally, let me point out that there is a difference between sarcastic and ironic. Not everything that is ironic is also sarcastic. All you twenty-somethings that use these synonymously, please, please stop before MY HEAD ASPLODES! They are similar, yes, but the connotations are very different. Sarcastic has more in common with sardonic than it does ironic. Why not use sardonic more? That's a good word!
As a final note, please feel free to disagree with me completely. That's another beauty of the English language; it is constantly and rapidly changing, so who knows what tomorrow might bring. There are, however, those among us that insist on following "rules" that were originally put in place to differentiate the educated rich from the uneducated poor. When you insist on using these rules, you are helping the MAN! Come one, stick it to the man! Use "poor" grammar! Say "Where are you at?" Say "Who'd have thunk?" On the other hand, don't make yourself look like an idiot at work when you write reports and stuff. "Good" grammar still makes a favorable impression. For list of common "errors" and how to avoid them, check this out!
I really hope there aren't too many errors in this post. I'll feel really stupid, but please feel free to point them out.
Monday, August 08, 2005
A Trip to Rock Creek Park and the Pursuant existential Angst
Amazingly, the brickfamily had lived in Washington DC (and I do mean in for any of you "NoVa and Md. ARE NOT WASHINGTON chuckleheads) for seven entire months before visiting Rock Creek Park, which is only, like, the biggest urban park in the universe. 
I may be wrong about that last claim seeing as I did absolutely no research on the matter whatsoever. But we finally did make the long, 6-minute drive to the park. It's pretty sweet. Like a little forest in the middle of the most powerful city in the universe. (Again, no research). We had a little picnic, went for a walk, and then drove home.
Good Things That We Saw
Bad Things That We Saw
If you are the type of person that would toss empty beer bottles into the woods or leave a pair of dirty panties by the side of a trail in a National Park, please let me know. I would like to end any and all association with you forthwith. If you are someone that I have never talked to, no I will not be your friend until you stop doing that crap. Idiots.
I may be wrong about that last claim seeing as I did absolutely no research on the matter whatsoever. But we finally did make the long, 6-minute drive to the park. It's pretty sweet. Like a little forest in the middle of the most powerful city in the universe. (Again, no research). We had a little picnic, went for a walk, and then drove home.
Good Things That We Saw
- Three deer just chilling about 30 yards in front of us on the trail
- Lots and lots of picnic areas accessible by both foot and car
- An open, expansive respite from the hustle and bustle of everyday Washington
Bad Things That We Saw
- A plethora of beer bottles (most Heineken, if that means anything) apparently tossed a few feet from the trail
- Several trees near the trailhead that were totally covered with carved graffiti
- A pair of *panties* lying by the side of the trail, if you can believe that
If you are the type of person that would toss empty beer bottles into the woods or leave a pair of dirty panties by the side of a trail in a National Park, please let me know. I would like to end any and all association with you forthwith. If you are someone that I have never talked to, no I will not be your friend until you stop doing that crap. Idiots.
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