The Coming Spring-pocalypse

So, recently I've been looking forward to the start of spring. Granted, it's still over a month away here in Northern South-eastern Michigan, but that's okay. Part of my looking forward to slightly warmer weather ("slightly warmer" means "probably no snow") is that I want to get outside and go camping and other white person stuff. One of the activities I particularly want to learn how to do is orienteering, the art of navigating the woods with only a topographical map and a compass. I believe it's a skill that will come in very handy at some point in the future if I have to walk my way from Kentucky to, uh, anywhere other than Kentucky. Thus, to learn a new skill I went to the first place one goes to when one wants to learn a new skill. Yep, the internet. However, I got distracted and started reading webcomics and looking at horrible, horrible pictures. Since the information superhighway didn't have an exit for my destination, I decided to go where poor people go to learn things. Yep, the library. At the library they had a whole section on outdoor, white person skills. There were at least two books on orienteering. On the cover of one of them, there was this chick in a brightly colored spandex outfit looking at a compass and jogging through the woods. On the cover of the other one there was this dude in a brightly colored spandex outfit looking at a compass and jumping over a log. If that's the official uniform, I am having severe second thoughts.