Books I read in the Last Few Weeks: Brief Reviews and Arbitrary Ratings
- Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said by Philip K. Dick – Like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone complete with “Where are they now???” epilogue.
9 Cans of Miller Lite - The Sirens of Titan by Kurt Vonnegut – What I always thought a read-in-one-day book should be.
9 out of 10 pieces of eight - Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut – I, for one, welcome our new machine overlords!
9 buns out of a baker’s dozen - Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut – See the cat?? See the cradle????
9 aces - Terrorist by John Updike – It’s as if Mr. Updike, the magnificent writer of the Rabbit Angstrom stories, of which I have read none, went to the store for hackneyed characters and bought a few. Here they are:
All the Middle-eastern characters: 5 terrorists, one CIA informer
The one black woman: Whore
The one black man: Pimp
The one Jewish guy: short, depressive
The one artist: flighty, slutty, bad mom
The one Older American Wife: overweight, addicted to soap operas, has a cat
The one Older American Spinster: scarily devoted to her job and boss
9 pieces of sand out of some Alaskan beach. - The Areas of My Expertise by John Hodgman – The book I would write if I had the time, imagination, keen wit and flair for the almost truthy that Mr. Hodgson does.
9 facts in the whole book. Maybe less. - The Pesthouse by Jim Crace – Not about post-apocalyptic America, set in post-apocalyptic America.
9 sentences written in iambic hexameter per page. - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J. K. Rowling – Snape Kills Dumbledore!!!
9 dead, 25 missing - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling – Deathly Hallows?? More like Deathly Harvests!
9 chapters out of 10.
